between things
03-Jul-25
between things
I recently resigned from my position at an energy advocacy organization. No new job lined up, no grand plan, just a feeling that it was time for something different. So here I am, unemployed and starting a blog to share my journey while I figure out what comes next.
How I Got Here
My career began in 2012 while I was completing my final university year, when I co-authored a paper on NCG injection in SAGD reservoirs that received the President’s Award and led to a trip to Ukraine. By 2015, I was part of a team piloting large-scale polymer injection in a declining waterflood reservoir. I have long been drawn to new technology, from exploring new pump designs to testing ways of using economically stranded natural gas, to experimenting with pulse seismic technology for wellbore inflow stimulation. That same curiosity eventually drew my attention to lithium wells appearing on GIS software, which prompted a deep dive into this emerging industry.
When Life Takes Unexpected Turns
I’ve been fortunate to have great mentors throughout my journey. I was actually enrolled to do a Master’s in Engineering, something culturally significant given my Pakistani heritage and the emphasis on technical education. In fact, I was enrolled and about to start when I went to leadership to take time off for block week (I didn’t want to burn vacation days). They saw something in me that I didn’t see: leadership potential. That conversation ended up changing everything, resulting in a sponsored MBA. To this day, I remain deeply grateful for their belief in me.
The MBA revealed my love for marrying numbers with finance. I enjoyed it so much that I secured a position at an equity research firm covering 16 diverse O&G equities. The extremely long hours didn’t faze me because I was mentally engaged. It was fun. This role meant working hard while gaining a broader industry view: understanding the key players, the numbers, the drivers, and the differentiators. Publishing late-night research and seeing CEOs or SVPs read it immediately provided exhilarating, tangible feedback that my work mattered. I have to say, working in Calgary’s first geothermal-powered tower (the Le Germain building) meant something to me.
During this period, I also started my CFA journey (completing Level 1). They say you need 300 hours to prepare for each level. While the first one was easy enough, I failed the second one twice. My own underestimation and lack of commitment. This was also when I witnessed capital flight from the sector, which gave me a new appreciation for how capital markets really work.
Adventures Abroad
Through the CFA network, I found a private equity role with a MENA fund focused on solar and wind. Coming from O&G, I definitely felt like an outsider at first, but hard work helped me find my footing. I learned about debt service coverage ratios and tax equity investment models, the real mechanics that make projects work since not everyone has cash on hand.
Our 200MW solar project in Benban, Egypt opened my eyes to Canadian players participating globally. Seeing Canadian pension funds investing in the green economy abroad was both exciting and a bit frustrating. Why did I have to leave Canada for this experience? Interestingly, even ARAMCO was investing in these renewable projects.
Working with our MD taught me how opportunities emerge from unexpected connections. His previous work with polysilicon conductors from a Korean manufacturer became the foundation for our success. With a 200MW project completed and evaluations across 15 MENA countries, the momentum was incredible.
When Personal Life Calls
I wish I’d stayed longer, but life had other plans. My marriage was struggling. While I was working full-time, doing my MBA, pulling 12-16 hour days in equity research, then dragging my family to the Middle East only to leave them alone while I traveled constantly, I lost sight of what mattered most. I don’t blame her for being unhappy. I was selfish.
We decided the US or Canada were our best options for a fresh start (Australia was vetoed due to, and I quote, “too many snakes”). Even during this difficult time, I treasure the relationships built. One colleague now manages infrastructure investments at PGGM in the Netherlands. Another bootstrapped Kumulus, a water treatment startup in Tunisia.
The Humbling Return
A job offer from EDP Renewables in Texas (through our ACCIONA connection) fell through due to TN-1 visa issues at the border. I hadn’t anticipated the complications under the Trump administration. Had I known to try a different border crossing or that finance professionals often enter under “economist” designations, things might have been different.
I ended up staying in Calgary, still unsure whether I was an O&G person or a renewables person, when really, I was just a person trying to find their way.
Finding New Purpose
An “Economist” posting eventually caught my eye. Determined to get this designation on my resume to avoid future visa issues, and aware that my frequent job changes didn’t look great on paper, I committed to staying longer. This advocacy organization, filled with policy professionals and undergoing massive change, became my home for the next five years.
I brought a quantitative lens to qualitative discussions. Being one of only three quant people in a 50-person organization, I helped get a research and data department going from scratch. This is where I discovered my love for automation, specifically Python. I recognized it as a force multiplier for our lean team.
The work ranged from modeling and analysis to being the technical specialist who could translate complex issues for decision-makers. After years surrounded by technical people, learning to communicate with diverse audiences was a new challenge. I had to polish my communication skills for MPs, deputy ministers, and board members.
The Best and Hardest Parts
When sustainable finance became a bigger focus, I got to co-lead some initiatives with a mentor from a member company. I gained board-level understanding of nuances in materiality standards and sustainability disclosures while bringing operational and finance perspectives. The caliber of people and diversity at these tables impressed me deeply.
Liaising with institutes, researchers, and stakeholders while conducting data-backed advocacy in a nimble fashion proved extremely rewarding. Early in this role, I declined multiple offers from banks and E&P companies because I was learning and growing too much to leave.
But after five years, especially these past few months, darkness emerged. My partner in crime, one of the smartest colleagues I’ve ever worked with, relocated provinces. The organization’s velocity slowed, its mandate became unclear. I felt disengaged with both the role and myself. Having experienced the operational, finance, and public policy sides, the trifecta, I remained confused about my path.
So I did what any irrational individual would: I resigned without another job lined up.
What Now?
I’ve always been driven by learning and growth. When that stops, I get restless. Ideas I wanted to implement seemed impossible given the organizational changes, but more fundamentally, I sensed my own priorities shifting. I craved applied management, marrying technical know-how with simplicity, developing and defending thematic positions.
Here’s something most people don’t know about me: I’m a geek at heart. Video games, woodworking, software programming, 3D printing. I grasp onto new technology the moment it arrives and try to get into it. I’ve installed lights at my house and control them from my phone. I love the open-source community, and naturally, with my Python skills, the whole AI thing is fascinating. These fundamental shifts will change everything.
I’ve reached a point where I’m energy-agnostic, carbon-molecule-agnostic. I see gaps in how we understand the intersections between fiscal policy, carbon markets, capital markets, and traditional energy. There’s room for more clarity and better tools.
But beyond the technical stuff, I truly want to figure out “How to make Canada investable again.” Why did I have to leave the country for renewable energy experience? Why is capital fleeing? Think about innovations like autonomous haul trucks at Suncor, or how much tech has come from our resource sector. There’s more to this story.
I want to blend my field insight, capital analysis, and code-driven problem-solving to address challenging problems and find fulfillment again.
Being Real About the Future
I’m being selective about my next steps, hoping for opportunities that harmonize my love for technology with making money in fulfilling ways. Maybe it’s pursuing a Yale Clean Tech certificate. Maybe it’s leveraging my sustainable finance experience (bringing commercial lenses to those conversations was my biggest differentiator).
I’ve been diving deeper into Python and machine learning, seeing how these tools could transform energy analysis and investment decisions. Speaking of investments, maybe it’s building on my personal wins. Ironically, despite being O&G heavy in my career, my best stock picks have been companies like Energy Recovery and Ballard Power. There’s something to be said for understanding traditional energy deeply enough to spot where the real opportunities in new energy lie.
This is an open letter to anyone reading about the type of opportunities I’d welcome. I’m someone who installed solar panels on my roof to optimize Canadian incentives. I do woodworking because I’m frugal (and okay, I love creating things). I’m working on 3D printing solutions for my daughter who was born without a hand. I’ve always been scrappy, always been curious, and always been ready for the next challenge.
I’m not looking for just another job. I’m looking for the opportunity to build something meaningful at the intersection of all these experiences. But I’m also just figuring things out, one day at a time.
If you’re reading this and see a connection, I’m open to conversations. If you’re going through your own career uncertainty, maybe my story helps you feel less alone. Either way, thanks for reading my first attempt at putting these thoughts into words.
More posts to come as I figure out this next chapter.